Blow his mind: a guide to giving good head

We’ve recently been featuring quite a few articles with tips for men so we thought it was about time to have something for the ladies. We decided to have a little think about the good old blow job and have a look at some ways to make sure that something that is always pretty good is elevated to being mind-blowingly fantastic.

Some women may not want or be able to perform this act, whether from cultural taboos or a personal aversion. It is worth noting that, from our experience, a large majority of men would choose partners who are up for this when it comes to purely sexual preferences.

Whatever you choose to call it, from a man’s point of view, a blow job is pretty much always well received. It’s fairly uncommon in male circles to hear such things as “She was trying to give me a BJ but … (insert pretty much any reason except life threatening ones or the start of a live sporting event on TV).” That being said, there are some things that you can do to improve your oral performance.

Basic science

Without going into too much detail, there are some important parts of the penis that need to be identified in order to discuss this subject. There are plenty of detailed explanations and diagrams out there but the main parts we need to think about are:

  • The glans or head: this is the top of the penis which has the urethra (hole) out of which liquid flows. This is a very sensitive part of a guy’s dick, which needs to not be handled too roughly, unless of course he enjoys pain – but let’s save that for another article!
  • The frenulum: this is the part underneath the glans which looks like a v shape. It’s where the foreskin, if he has one, meets the underside of the penis (it’s still there if he doesn’t have one). This is possibly the most sensitive part of all.
  • The shaft: fairly self-explanatory, this is the main body of the penis running from the balls to the head.
  • The balls: probably also needing little explanation, it’s worth remembering that the scrotum area is very pain sensitive so too much squeezing or being struck in this area can be absolutely debilitating. Useful to remember if needed in an emergency!

Get him out

The act of giving great head doesn’t need to start with getting naked in the bedroom. There is an added thrill and sense of excitement if the partner giving the blow job instigates the act by getting his dick out. A smouldering kiss and sensual undressing (or even just unzipping) will pretty much guarantee that the boy will be ready for action; this is a major turn-on for guys!

Get a grip

It’s almost impossible to give a good blow job without engaging in some hand action, too. Running the fingers up and down the shaft lightly at first, pulling the foreskin up and down over the head (if applicable) and slowly running fingers lightly over that area is always a good start. Another great technique is running both hands all the away along either side of the penis, palms inward. This is tantalising when done properly and looks super sexy when you are in front of him and looking about ready to use your mouth.

Lick it

Introducing some tongue action at this point by gradually licking up and down the shaft from the balls to the head, flicking the tongue over the glans area will now ensure that you have him at your mercy (it’s a great time to ask for that favour or special treat that you want – perhaps the spa weekend away with the girls or that new dress, as he is very unlikely to say “no” to anything at this point!). Flicking the tongue over the frenulum will start to have him further deeply aroused! Don’t be in a hurry to move on to the next step, though; tease and take your time and don’t forget to keep using those hands. A nice strong grip on the shaft works wonders with fingers and thumbs wrapped around it like you would grab an ice-cream, though hopefully this one won’t melt for a while!

Going in

When you think you have teased enough, it’s time to take him in to your mouth. Gradually put your mouth around the glans while flicking the tip with your tongue is a great technique and remember to keep using those hands. A few ‘false starts’ by only allowing the tip to go in and then withdrawing and using some hand moves adds to the thrill. Then start to apply a bit of suction, but not too much – as if you were sucking your thumb, until you are comfortable with how much you want to take in. The start to bob your head backwards and forwards, slowly at first, then increasing your speed. You could hold onto his balls, tickle them and go hands free at times to control him totally with your mouth. Taking his dick out of your mouth and going back to licking the shaft while firmly holding the head adds variation, and remember, ‘variety is the spice of life!’

Easy does it

While you should vary the strength and speed of your sucking to gradually bring him different levels of ecstasy, remember not to be too rough as this really is a sensitive area. Nibbles with the teeth feel very nice and add further spice but do not bite hard! Injuries can easily occur as the skin around the erection is already pulled quite tight and can be torn. He will definitely tell you if something starts to become painful but if in doubt, ask him how it’s going and what he wants.

Talk is not cheap

Talking dirty when you are ‘going down’ can also be a turn on. This doesn’t necessarily mean resorting to filthy, ‘potty mouth’ language but urging him on or calming him down with some choice phrases, when you don’t have your mouth full, can be incredibly sexy. As climax gets ever closer, telling him things like “come on” or “I want to see you come” can be really horny and help him to do just that if your energy is waning! It can be the chance for you to give your mouth a rest and go back to some encouraging hand action, too.

Explore the area

Remember, too, that the whole area around your target is very sensitive and light touches and strokes on the skin are super stimulating. The lower stomach area and inner thighs are easily reached while you are still concentrating on the rod of pleasure, and stroking the buttocks if he is standing can also be a winner. He may even want you to delve deeper in this area, but that is something you may want to discuss first and explore carefully. Let’s save this topic for another article!

Here it comes

As sure as winter follows summer, the time will come where the amazing thrills you are generating can no longer be received without the inevitable consequences; that means it’s ejaculation time!

Much has been discussed, debated and written about this but it basically comes down to a very few options. The main one is whether you are going to let him come in your mouth. You should be assured that this is the option that pretty much all men would absolutely have you go for every time. Whether it’s purely a pleasure thing or related to some kind of innate caveman instinct of planting his seed is irrelevant: the pure truth is it feels fantastic! If you’re not happy with it, you need to work out some kind of exit strategy such as him telling you the time is nigh and you finishing with the good old hand option – watch out for the squirt if this is your choice, it stings the eyes!

If you have gone for the preferred option be ready to receive what he is truly grateful for but don’t milk it for too long and too hard because it can start to hurt a little. This then leads us to the age-old spit or swallow conundrum. To be perfectly honest, and without trying to make men sound selfish, he will probably not really care too much at this point as he is too busy enjoying that brief movement of having reached nirvana, though this brief visit may be slightly sustained if you don’t rush to the sink to eject his love juice. Bear in mind that the swallow option can actually be of mutual benefit as semen contains a variety of vitamins and minerals (fructose, amino acids, citric acid, phosphorus, potassium, and hormones known as prostaglandins if you must know). Ultimately, the choice is yours, of course.

Twice the fun

If delivering a killer blow job is not just going to be a selfless act on your behalf, remember ‘doing each-other’ with the legendary ‘69’ is also an amazing way to both give and receive. There can be a heightened sense of ‘frisson’ as you urge yourselves on to climax. Nirvana for two, at the same time if you get your timing right.

Practice makes perfect

As always, this phrase rings true as practice and experience here will lead to heightened skills. If you don’t have a partner to practise with, you might want to have a look at finding one on one of recommended dating sites. Our top two are and

Usual safety considerations should be applied.

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