After you have listened to break up songs repeatedly, there is always a point where you have to wipe away your tears and consider getting back on the dating horse again. Now, the problem is that good to use someone as a rebound, but you also have to be careful so as not to hold yourself back. It’s true that time one takes to recover from break up vary from one relationship to another, and there is no set time that you should enter into another one. The best thing to do is to take time away from dating to reevaluate and focus on yourself for a better future. The million dollar question, however, is when do you start dating again after a breakup? To help you through the saddle, here are some questions you need to answer before deciding if it is the right time to date again.
• Are you comfortable with being single?
The only time you should go back into the dating scene is if you feel comfortable going out solo and having fun on your own. One of the most trying moments after a breakup is adapting to being on your own, especially if you used to be spending quite some time with your partner. It’s, therefore, possible to lose sight of who you are as an individual. You will need to be able to spend some quality time by yourself and doing things you love. You can watch a movie, hang out with friends or engage on a yoga retreat if that’s your thing. It is only after you have rediscovered yourself that you will feel comfortable being with someone else.
• Are you still angry?
Breakups are painful, and it’s possible to feel sad, angry or even bitter. Dealing with these emotions can be emotion braking, confusing and also draining. Trying to navigate through the murky world of dating with these feelings clouding your judgment can be tricky. It’s important to take your time to absorb the crappy feelings so that you do not carry them forward to your next relationship. Only jump to the next relationship when everything is sorted and you are happy as well as ready to move on.
• Have you owned up to the role you played in the breakup?
At the beginning of a breakup, we all tend to blame the other party for all the things that went wrong. But you should be able to take your part of the blame when you are ready to move on. However, if you are still blaming your ex for all that went wrong then don’t dare turn the key to the other side of the door.
• Have you really decided to let go?
Letting go completely involves going through the dark moment of sadness, denial, and anger before you finally accept. If you are still avoiding this tunnel, then you are not ready yet. For some people, letting go completely involves getting back the stuff you had left at his place. That is not true. It means accepting that it was not meant to be. This will help you avoid the weird feelings of your past experience and prepare you for your next chapter of dating life.
• Are you continually talking or thinking about your ex?
The healing process includes getting a chance to put your grievances out there until your face is red. After the right amount of time, you should be able to leave your ex and the relationship to the past where it belongs. This is because no one wants to go out with a person who is always talking about their ex. If you can do that, then you are ready for the next chapter.
• What are your reasons for dating again?
You do not want to get into a relationship just because you have a void that you need to fill or simply because your ex is dating again. You should get out there because you feel ready to meet and mingle with new and exciting people. Your intentions for dating should be pure. It should not be because you want to revenge, to boost your ego or for financial reason.
Starting dating after a breakup
So now that the tears are finally dried up, and you are now ready to get back in the dating scene. What’s the way forward now? How do you get started?
At this time it’s possible to have mixed feelings of excitement and dread. For one, it’s possible that you may have been away from the dating game for a long time or the idea of putting yourself out there after your experience may be frightening. You may also find that the dating scene has completely changed since the last time you were single. But not to worry it’s not as difficult as you might be imagining. Here are some ways to make this process easier.
Hookups are pretty safe because there is no much commitment involved from the beginning. You can talk to your friends especially those who are in relationships about what’s happening in the dating scenes. Your single friends are perfect because they will give you an insight to as well as help you to feel less lonely. Who knows they may also point you to the direction of someone you will be happy to know or at least tell you about the latest app. With a little bit of help, this will be a jungle that you can navigate easily.
2. Online dating
Dating apps are the perfect way to start off in the dating scene after some rough experience. The first reason is that you never have to meet anyone until you are ready to do so. The good news is that there are so many dating sites out that you can take time to flirt and see if you are comfortable with it. Who knows with time you may warm up to a person and actually have it lead to a first date. If you have been nervous about having sex again, you could arrange for some fun casual sex with someone through the apps. Online dating opens you up to all kinds of choices for a potential lover through matching you up with people with similar interests and hobbies. The idea here is to maximize the possibilities of meeting someone while having a lot of fun in the process.
Having the courage to open yourself up to the idea of loving again especially after a breakup can be very scary. You will need to navigate such a plunge carefully to ensure that you venture into the business of dating at the right time. Fortunately, with so many hookup and online dating sites available, it should not be so hard to find the right person or way to do so.