Watching a series like ‘Sex in the City’ has always been a fun to who the reality has not yet hit his/her relationship’s life. However, as you continue watching the series, the reality about your life jumps in whereby you start reevaluating your relationship. Heretofore, when I started watching this series in 1998, I was just a teenager who was just very naïve about the relationships. Today, as I enjoy this series, am in my 30s and I can relate the struggles that characters like Carrie and her friends used to go through in their relationships in the series.
When most folks are teenagers or they are in their 20s, a relationship is just a way of life whereby they don’t take it seriously. Contrary, in 30s everything changes as the pressure to settle down and have their own families start to pile up. This pressure also accumulates due to the agency of bearing kids, the pressure from relatives as they see the age is catching up with them and finally the pressure of evading been left out as most friends are kissing their singlehood goodbye.
Anyway, if currently you have hit thirty plus years old and you are single, this is the best place where you will get the soundest advice for you to have a successful relationship. The golden advice of all is to embrace changes, as a wise man said: “a change is just like a rest”.
Anyway, without further ado, these are the tips you should use when dating in your 30s.
Ignore the age
Usually, the issue of age when dating is one thing that sprouts out very often. Most folks insist that a lady shouldn’t date a guy younger than her or a chap shouldn’t date a lady maturer than him. However, whatever the myth, believes or consequences that surrounds this issue, they should be ignored. Provided the two parties have fallen in love, anything else is a distraction.
For instance, one of my pals has an age difference of 8 years with her young boyfriend and they are in a happy relationship; the reason been the immeasurable love they’ve for each other.
Consider your needs
When a lady is in her 20s, she will fantasize about dating a dude who drives and the one who can really spoil her with surprises. That line of fantasies isn’t bad at all because every lady dreams of living a fancy life whereby she can enjoy all the luxuries. However, at the 30s, your priorities should be well defined in a way that you know what you need to achieve in a relationship.
Finding a chap/lady who matches your needs and your lifestyle should come first on your list. For instance, you can conduct an evaluation on your previous relationships, so that you can identify your likes and hates. This will help you when picking up a new partner.
Forget your past
As it’s said that: past is another word that means hurt, you should let it go. Your past should not be a determinant of your present. Everybody has a bitter past which he/she shouldn’t want to revisit. Avoid discussing your previous relationship with your new catch and focus on your present.
Shun your insecurities
Sometimes, experiencing several unsuccessful relationships makes someone develop a consciousness of repelling any advances directed to them. This is brought about by the fear of the unknown, whereby they fear the outcome in case they give in. However, provided you come across a dude/lady you love and he/she loves you back; you should drop your insecurities and try it out.
A positive attitude is imperative
At the 30s it’s very easy to be wearied and harsh in case you are approached by a gallant which is stimulated by your previous failed relationships. That’s not the way, be friendly and positive with him that everything will work out. We’re the authors of our own destiny, just give him a chance and wait and see how everything will go down.
Let having fun be your motto
Every second should count during this time as you enjoy your life to the fullest (YOLO); avoiding stressing yourself with unnecessary fantasies that are currently out of reach. Fantasizing or pondering isn’t bad at all, but it shouldn’t be an impediment to your happiness. Actually, with him/her, focus on having laughter, joy and all the fun moments, because, in relationships, there is no age limit for having all these.
Drop divorce bias
Today, in America, the divorce rates are between 42%-50%. This indicates that in your 30s as you search for a life partner, the probabilities of encountering a divorcee are very high. So, when the time comes for discussing marriages, avoid curiosity for the right time will come for them to open up.
Communication is the key
In any involvement, good communication is so paramount for it facilitates knowing each other better. As you communicate, openness and honesty should always be a factor so that you can appreciate each other. Have mature talks and you shouldn’t relent asking any question or giving out certain information that you think it’s essential.
Avoiding banking emotions and time on the wrong people
If you don’t like someone, you should avoid entertaining him/her in your life for you will be wasting your valuable time on him/her. Life is too short for you to entertain them. Look for someone you like and you will enjoy spending time with him/her.
Trust your impulse
If you have a bad or a good feeling about someone, trust it and lend it an ear because sometimes they’re right. Like, you may have a feeling that things are not going to work out, probably there’s an inner self that observes that fact. So, obey it.
You should avoid faking your personality because your partner may misconstrue you. This may bring problems in future because you initially portrayed a fake self. Be yourself at all time because it’s less expensive.
You are the maker of your Mr. Right/Miss. Perfect
Nobody is perfect in this world unless God. So, if you come across a dude who nearly fits your Mr. Right/miss. perfect docket, don’t snub him/her as you look for a perfect guy/lady. Give him/her time and condone him/her, as with time he/she will toe to the line.