I have ventured into online dating for a good duration. Men, in their bid to woe me have made loads of avoidable mistakes. An incidence which is still fresh in my mind is when a guy we had been chatting requested for my phone number. I hastily gave it out thinking he would like to switch to texting instead. I was in for a rude shock when the guy called! I literally dropped my phone like a burning coal. For rookies in online dating, there are barely any laid-out regulations but its common knowledge that you shouldn’t call a person without their permission. Making a mistake is common especially for guys used to the prevalent traditional dating ways. However, worry no more for I have come to your rescue.
10 Useful Online Dating guidelines for Men:
1.Choose an Ideal Site(s)
Currently, singles have a wide array of dating apps and websites to choose from. They can meet different types of people who are looking for love from these sites. Some sites may however not work for you. To ensure that you pick the best online dating site, you can brainstorm your friends and colleagues. You can further dig for more information from magazines and blogs to determine the best site or app. Most online dating sites offer clients free signup and a trial duration to learn the ropes of the site.
2. Create a profile.
Creation of an attractive profile plays a key role in capturing the attention of your possible suitors. Create an awesome introduction, a good picture, interests and hobbies. It should portray who you really are and the kind of a partner you might be looking for. You can look up profile examples from the internet to generate a unique one.
3. Be specific.
As a man, you will need to be keen and avoid sending copied messages. A text like “you have a lovely smile” to a woman is really plain as she is likely to have received hundreds of similar texts. Go through her profile and spot something different about the person like a pet, or a hobby. For example, you can point out their cute dog or tell them that, “I love camping too,” “I am a soccer fan too, what’s your favourite club/player?” This will trigger a response from them and a conversation will ensue.
For the sake of safety and sanity, everyone has a set of boundaries in online dating. Online daters are either lenient or strict with the boundaries they set. The lenient type may be comfortable chatting for some minutes and they are ready to go out with you for drinks while the strict and reserved type will take a while longer before they are comfortable to go out with you. If your crush is not comfortable to meet you yet respect their decision. If they readily accept to go out with you don’t take their consent for granted.
5. Ask questions.
Asking questions gives your crush something to look forward to. This prevents them from disappearing or going silent on you without an explanation. Abrupt silence and disappearance are referred to as ghosting. If you want your crush to be continually interested in chatting with you, you need to be creative and keep her engaged in the conversation too by asking her to tell you more about herself, her job and even her family. This will give her a reason to talk more with you and create some sort of a connection.
6. Talk about the positives.
When you are still strangers, always ensure that the conversations are general and light. Stick to topics that are likely to elicit excitement and happiness. Avoid ranting about a bothersome ex, political turmoil or even global warming. This may portray you as a pessimist or mean guy and derail your young friendship. Point out the visible positive attributes of your crush too like nice hair. When you describe yourself, don’t be fast to blurt out your weaknesses as this may make your crush go silent on you.
7. Make a move.
Women can make the first move too but if you feel that you are ready to take things to the next level, make the move instead of waiting for her to bring up the idea. It will save you time. After a lengthy period of chatting and flirting, you are able to determine if there is interest between you. At this point, make the move, invite her for a date. This will make your crush realize that you are serious. Give her a convincing reason why you really feel you want to go on a date with her. However, don’t just yell out a day but rather give her a timeframe like, “How about we meet for a date next weekend?”
8. Create a plan.
Dating requires concise planning. I have seen many guys foiling the first date. If we have agreed to meet, we have selected a day, you can mess the whole thing by asking: “What should we do?” If you asked me out it is your responsibility to plan what we should do. Suggest the foods and drinks we should partake on that day. Ask your crush her best food and recommend an ideal eatery. If you ace this process of coming up with an exceptional first date, it will not only impress your crush but its also pretty attractive.
9. Exchange phone numbers.
Ensure you exchange numbers with your date before the first date. This comes in handy for logistics, texting when you arrive at the venue, get in touch fast if you need to cancel or you can’t reach each other online. Exchanging numbers earlier also relieves the pressure at the end of the date and the main task you may have may be asking your crush if she would like to go on another date with you.
10. Get offline.
The last but definitely not the least is a piece for online daters. Get your relationship from online to offline as soon as you establish a connection with your crush. Getting to know them in person to be sure there is chemistry between you two. It also helps determine if your relationship is going to work. Talking to someone online may feel safe but the truth is you can’t be Penpals for eternity. The main goal of online dating is getting real-life lovers if you are not fooling around.
So, get up, go out there and do something.